By Matthew Saari

It’s no secret that Whitehall has had an elevated level of Sasquatch sightings. The mythical animal is as much a part of the town’s persona as the railroad is.

Sasquatch foot prints found near Rathbun’s Maple Sugarhouse

It is exactly because of this heightened level of sightings that the state Department of Environmental Conservation, in an act that is 180 degrees from a previously released statement six years ago, will be issuing a limited number of Sasquatch hunting licenses this fall.

“After years of painstaking research, environmental conservation experts have determined a direct correlation between the amount of Sasquatch sighting in the Whitehall area and an unsafe, heightened population of the beast,” the state DEC website reads. “With these scientific facts in mind, these limited permits are being issued to cull the herd so to speak and bring the population back to sustainable levels.”

Sportsmen can begin applying for the permits, of which there will be only 50, beginning Saturday, Sept. 1. State officials made a point of emphasizing that each permit will only carry with it one tag – no one is entitled to bag more than one Sasquatch.

 

This is only a preview of the story published in the Whitehall Times. To read the full story, pick up a print copy of this week’s paper at the newsstand or read it online here.

 

This is only a preview of the story published in the Granville Sentinel. To read the full story, pick up a print copy of this week’s paper at the newsstand or read it online here.

 

Editor’s Note: This story is completely false and is only intended for humorous purposes. It is not in any way, shape or form meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the satire. April Fools!!

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