By Matthew Saari

It’s no secret that Whitehall has had an elevated level of Sasquatch sightings. The mythical animal is as much a part of the town’s persona as the railroad is.

Sasquatch foot prints found near Rathbun’s Maple Sugarhouse

It is exactly because of this heightened level of sightings that the state Department of Environmental Conservation, in an act that is 180 degrees from a previously released statement six years ago, will be issuing a limited number of Sasquatch hunting licenses this fall.

“After years of painstaking research, environmental conservation experts have determined a direct correlation between the amount of Sasquatch sighting in the Whitehall area and an unsafe, heightened population of the beast,” the state DEC website reads. “With these scientific facts in mind, these limited permits are being issued to cull the herd so to speak and bring the population back to sustainable levels.”

Sportsmen can begin applying for the permits, of which there will be only 50, beginning Saturday, Sept. 1. State officials made a point of emphasizing that each permit will only carry with it one tag – no one is entitled to bag more than one Sasquatch.

 

This is only a preview of the story published in the Whitehall Times. To read the full story, pick up a print copy of this week’s paper at the newsstand or read it online here.

 

This is only a preview of the story published in the Granville Sentinel. To read the full story, pick up a print copy of this week’s paper at the newsstand or read it online here.

 

Editor’s Note: This story is completely false and is only intended for humorous purposes. It is not in any way, shape or form meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the satire. April Fools!!

Comments

comments

Read more in this week's Sentinel in newsstands now or click here to read right now with our e-edition.

Read more in this week's Times in newsstands now or click here to read right now with our e-edition.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Northshire Freepress – 04/20/18

Northshire_4_20_18.pdf-web.pdf

North Country Freepress – 04/20/18

freepress 4-20-18.pdf-web.pdf

Lakes Region Freepress – 04/20/18

Lakes_4_19_18.pdf-web.pdf

Skene Manor opens for season Saturday

SkeneManor-20100512006-Featured

By Matthew Saari For many people spring heralds longer days, chirping birds, greener trees and warmer temperatures. For Whitehallers, it […]

Granville raises tuition for Vermont students

20180417_073942

By Krystle S. Morey The Granville Board of Education, after considering the loss of designation and other changes in Vermont […]

Whitehall teen charged for ‘terroristic threat’

threat

By Matthew Saari State Police arrested a 14-year-old Whitehall student last week, charging him with making a “terroristic threat,” a […]

Locals eye board seats in three school districts

BOE elections

By Matthew Saari and Krystle S. Morey Whitehall There will be a bit of a race this year as three […]

518 Wheels – 04/19/18

518 Wheels 4-20-18.pdf-web.pdf

North Country Freepress – 04/13/18

FreePress_4_13_18.pdf-web.pdf

Lakes Region Freepress – 04/13/18

Lakes_4_13_18.pdf-web.pdf

Northshire Freepress – 04/13/18

Northshire_4_13_18.pdf-web.pdf

518 Wheels – 04/12/18

518 Wheels 4_13_18.pdf-web.pdf